Netflix’s ‘Sexy Beasts’ Are Ridiculous and Surprisingly Boring

Why people watch dating shows? Forget the lofty rationalizations on contemporary sociology and mating rituals – the real reason is not deep. To be blunt, it’s just fun to ogle beautiful people as they lick each other. always been, always will be. New Netflix reality series Sexy Beasts, a reincarnation of a British program of the same name, understands this basic truth and builds its episodes around it, while pretending to reject it. Instead of judging each other’s appearance from the get-go, contestants put on makeup and makeup to hide their faces, saving the reveal hot or not until the end of each episode. This is a clever premise. Alas, Sexy Beasts is more interesting to think about than to watch.

In each installation of Sexy Beasts, which debuts today, three suitors vie for one person’s affection, each being transformed into a creature to hide their appearance. A friendly panda is courted by a tin man, an alien and a bull; a wolf must choose between an owl, a troll or a dinosaur; And so on. After a first round of dating, there is a first round of rejection, with a loser sent home. After the second round, the process repeats. After each rejection, viewers and participants can see what the returned person looks like. Then, in the end, the winning contender meets their match face to face. The result is a show meant to take the looks out of the equation which is, in effect, a show about the dizzying anticipation if someone you have sympathized with in the conversation is as steamy as you would have hoped. (Competitors tend to favor body-hugging clothing, with bodycon dresses or bicep-emphasizing shirts meant to signal attractiveness. Sounds like cheating, but hey.) They’re more obsessed with finding hotties.

When the Sexy Beasts trailer released, his crazy makeup art and top-notch gadget was enough to generate a thousand furry joke headlines and dozens of reactions on Twitter. It sounded like a safe bet for Netflix. The masked singer, a vocal performance competition show, has a similar vanity, with contestants hiding behind entertainingly elaborate disguises, and it has proven to be a massive success for Fox. I have doubts about Sexy Beasts‘able to stay, however. The end product is just too boring. Talented comedian host Rob Delaney is so toned down as a narrator you could have told me an AI was doing the voiceover and I would have believed you. The makeup is really awesome – if only they had included some sort of bonus behind-the-scenes episodes about the on-and-off process! – but the dates are bland, with jokes to fill. The cast shed light on villains and eccentrics, leaving a sympathetic but lackluster list of affable people politely pushing their chin implants while laughing.

In the last person, everyone on the show is generically exactly as good-looking as an actor in a dish soap commercial, which is understandable (picking obviously bad people to participate would have been cruel. ). But that means it’s a show where the revelation is always “Oh, it turns out they were Damn hot. “It gets old quickly! On the other hand, the masked singers on The masked singer are still C to Z list celebrities, making it a considerably more addicting and varied guessing game.

If anything, Sexy Beasts is the rare show that seems to have worked better as a who offer. If each episode was, say, five minutes long, that would be a stronger product, as the premise and ending reveal are the only compelling parts. But even if it doesn’t get high marks in terms of entertainment value, it stands out for its frankness as a dating show. Although he attracts attention for his weird costumes, he exhibits much more down-to-earth courtship behavior than his dating competition predecessors. One contestant admits she’s only there to break a dry streak, and she’s visibly relieved when knocked out. An American participant notes that the choice of an English suitor makes a real relationship between them unlikely, but she still had fun.

I’ve always found shows like The single person and its fallout for being atrocious watches; the agreed narrative that candidates genuinely seek to find long-term engagement under such artificial circumstances is, to me, both unbearably cynical and unbearably ridiculous. With a few exceptions, competitors of Sexy Beasts openly embrace the ridiculousness and cynicism of its premise. They seem to be looking for a moment of fun, to enjoy their own 22 minutes of fleeting Netflix fame. There are a few contestants, like the Party Panda, who pretend they want to make a real romantic connection on the show, but most of the contestants seem to view their appearances as an engagement somewhere between swiping right on Tinder and going on a third date. It’s refreshing and it lowers the moral factor, but it also drastically lowers the stakes. Instead of a dramatic and tearful rose ceremony, the beasts of Sexy Beasts are dismissed casually and leave with no hard feelings. There is no artificial grief. But once the novelty of seeing people dressed as mythical creatures and zoo animals wears off, there is a decided lack of spectacle in watching two nice and nice people agree that they’re both nice and nice. . If the showrunners of Sexy Beasts were as honest as his competition, he would have had a different title. But of course, Moderately attractive but strangely boring beasts doesn’t have much to say.

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