Playing with my husband made our marriage stronger


WHEN IT COMES at video games and weddings, that’s usually not good news. Pop culture, books and movies are littered with anecdotes or comedy sketches about a despised and exhausted woman who gets dumped by her husband for the latest video game.

I can imagine it now: usually the wife walks into her husband’s dark and damp playroom in extremely uncomfortable lingerie in an attempt to seduce the teary eyed, caffeine-laden husband of a game or a game. other. It ends with screams and jerks, but not the right kind.

Not in my case, however. I swear playing video games with my husband for two years Jethro, now 27, actually made our marriage stronger and now I feel closer to him than ever.

When the coronavirus pandemic shut down the world as we knew it in March 2020, Jethro and I hadn’t even been married for a year. That summer we spent our first wedding anniversary locked in our little two bed apartment in London, bemoaning what could have been. We’ve sold out everything: the race, the cookbooks, the decor, our record collection and the coffee. It was sometimes tense – it wasn’t a life for a newlywed couple, surely?

In all fairness, we had never really played together before. Jethro loved challenging adventure games with impossible puzzles, logic, fighting and big ass guns. I did not do it. I liked brightly colored games, friendships and “doing good”. The closest I’ve ever had to big ass fights and guns was in Fallout 3, and even then I ran away from the mad dogs.

We like different things and have very different personalities, so playing together was never considered. Jethro is a man of numbers; he’s cool, collected, and incredibly logical. I’m a creative, a writer, an overly sensitive Pisces with terrible memory and zero logic. We are poles apart when it comes to both life and games. So our gamer lives have been very separate, very personal for us individually, and we’ve never had the chance to bond or work together as a couple, when it comes to our screen time.

It turns out that we are not alone. There have been a handful of studies over the years that have revealed the negative impact gambling can have on marriages. Surprisingly, in 2018, the website Suggested online divorce that he experienced a marked increase in Fortnite being cited as grounds for divorce among their users. About 5% of all divorce papers received that year claimed gambling played a role in their marriage breakdown.

In an earlier study, published in 2012 speak Leisure Research Journal, the researchers found that 75 percent of wives of gamers (often men) wanted the gamer in their relationship to put more effort into their marriage. They claimed it resulted in unhappiness in their relationship and arguments as it interfered with family time and intimacy.

However, the same study found that among couples who shared playtime and gambled together, 76% thought gambling was good for their marriage. They were happier with their relationship because they were part of the same team. He revealed that working together works wonders.

So when it came to joining the hordes and buying a Nintendo Switch during the lockdown last year, I was nervous. Skeptical, even. I imagined playing on Animal crossing until 4am picking peaches and swimming for clams while my husband slept alone in our bed, and vice versa. I was worried that we would fight over the console, and I would end up eating on my own while my husband cursed and sweated while fighting Dynamax Pokémon in Pokemon Shield.

I ended up watching it for hours trying to catch 150 Digletts on the game Isle of Armor expansion, and I felt myself getting angry – losing my patience for something that was supposed to be nice. I was keen, I had nothing but negative comments to make about his playing style and technique, just because I couldn’t get involved. Sometimes I would end up sitting further and further away from him on the couch, despite the console that was supposed to be ours. That was until we bought the ones from 2017 The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.



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